Success Stories

_{The following story is based on an actual case. The names and other details have been changed to protect privacy.}

The day you met Lily.

Picture one of those Fall days that most of us treasure blue sky and golden leaves. You were standing in your front yard thinking about raking the leaves when you noticed a little girl standing very still in the yard next door. She was about 7 years old, cute with blonde, curly hair and eyes so blue that you could see them from where you stood. But she was motionless, somber, wearing an expression no child should ever wear.

When she noticed you looking at her, her face showed fear. Yet you had done nothing to frighten her. You couldn’t imagine why she was afraid.

What you didn’t know then was that Lily had been physically abused since she was three. Her dad, one of those guys who expects, no, demands perfection had been hitting Lily and her mom for every infraction – real or imagined. If Lily spilled her juice or left her shoes in the living room, he hit her.

On one horrible occasion, he threatened Lily’s mom with a knife. When her mom cut her hand grabbing for the knife, Lily was terrified because there was blood on the floor. Her dad would be furious about the mess.

Unfortunately, the abuse didn’t come to light until Lily started school. When Lily started first grade, she was both excited and nervous to go to school. She was looking forward to playing on the playground with the big kids, but worried whether the new girls in her classroom would swing with her. But even with the normal jitters that come with the start of school, Lily also had more serious concerns on her mind.

The first couple weeks of school seemed to go smoothly, but as more adults came into to contact with Lily, many observed that something weighed heavily on the young girl and it was something that she was unable or unwilling to share.

Instead of relishing the time spent in the reading corner with new books to explore or at recess giggling uncontrollably, as little girls her age often do, Lily was distant and distracted and could not concentrate on learning. She withdrew from interaction with adults and did not attempt to make friends with her classmates. She often just stood alone on the playground and seemed to be in a constant state of anxiety.

Then the bruises and scars started to appear on her little body and teachers knew that something was very wrong in Lily’s home and that she needed help!

Child welfare was immediately called and they determined that Lily needed to be removed from her family and placed in foster care with your next door neighbors. Sadly, removing Lily from the violent situation at home did not put an end to her problems. Lily continued to do poorly in school and many of her trauma-related issues carried over into her life with her new foster family.

From the first moment that her foster parents met Lily, they saw a child who was preoccupied with adult duties like cleaning the house and cooking food. She completely ignored the things children her age loved to do, like playing dolls or watching weekend morning cartoons. Most disturbing for them were the terrible nightmares she suffered, reliving the violence, night after night.

Lily’s social worker and foster family knew that she was headed down a dark path and that they needed to find a way to help her deal with the pain of witnessing and experiencing serious physical harm.

Lily was already showing an inability to form healthy relationships. She was depressed and had low self esteem. She also had tremendous guilt for not being able to keep her or her mom safe. Lily was so young and had already lost many of the precious moments of her childhood.

The healing begins. Fortunately, your neighbor, Lily’s foster mom had heard about the child abuse treatment programs at The Kempe Center. She was able to secure a referral to The Kempe Under Sixes Program. Lily’s healing process was about to begin.

Giving Lily back her childhood…

Lily was referred to The Kempe Center’s Under Sixes Program. This program builds on a partnership with Denver child welfare services, and provides home-based mental health interventions for young children. The children treated through the program have experienced trauma, neglect and/or abuse.

Kempe began working with Lily to help her talk about the abuse that she and her mother suffered at the hands of her father. Revealing the details to her therapist was a monumental step towards Lily’s recovery. It allowed her to begin to deal with the emotions of living through the horrific violence within her home.

Another challenge for Lily was to balance the fact that she loved her father against the understanding that what he did was wrong. Lily’s father was not always violent. He had very specific triggers that brought on the violent outbursts. It was difficult for a young child to sort out his frightening behavior from the fact that he was still her daddy.

After several months of therapy, Lily has shown great improvement. She no longer suffers from nightmares and she loves school again. Her foster parents report that she is starting to make friends and she smiles all the time. Lily’s work with a Kempe therapist is helping her be a kid again. Kempe experts have given Lily her childhood back and have started her on a path to forming healthy relationships, positive self awareness and the skills to cope with the trauma of her past.

Children like Lily are amazingly resilient and have a surprising capacity to overcome the obstacles that abuse puts in front of them. If we can intervene early for young children exposed to violence, we can set them on the right path to a successful future.

It’s Holiday time.

On a crisp and bright December day, you find yourself out in your yard, shoveling snow. Your extended family is coming over for a big holiday celebration. As you lean on your shovel and look around the snow-covered neighborhood, you notice Lily in the yard next door. Today, you see a happy child, building a snow man with several neighborhood kids. She’s rosy-cheeked and laughing. What a difference a year (and Kempe) can make!

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